Category: Psychology (Page 1 of 5)

Author Q & A with Susannah Cahalan

Interview by Jana Hoops. Special to the Clarion-Ledger Sunday print edition (January 12)

New York Times bestselling author Susannah Cahalan shines a light on a turning point in the field of psychology with her second book, The Great Pretender.

The award-winning author of Brain on Fire, Cahalan presents in her new book a thoroughly researched and thoughtful assessment of Stanford psychologist David Rosenhan, whose 1973 undercover investigation into the country’s mental illness facilities would bring about major–and more compassionate–approaches to treatment.

The twist that Cahalan reveals is that Rosenhan was not forthcoming in many of the “facts” of that study–leaving readers with plenty of clues to make their own conclusions about his intentions.

As a writer who shared her shocking struggles with a rare autoimmune disease of the brain in her first book, Cahalan has become an influential voice on the approach to mental health in America.

She lives in Brooklyn with her family.

After your experience of having a rare autoimmune disease of the brain that was misdiagnosed as a mental illness (and led to your first book, Brain on Fire,) what caught your interest to write a book about Stanford psychiatrist David Rosenhan’s well-known study and subsequent article “On Being Sane in Insane Places’?

Susannah Cahalan

My interest was piqued during a conversation with two Harvard researchers who study the brain. I told them a bit about a woman who I call my “mirror image,” a young woman around my age who went misdiagnosed for two years and would never fully recover. It prompted one of the researchers to say that we both essentially were modern-day pseudo-patients–testing the nature of psychiatric diagnoses and finding it lacking, much like a famous pseudo-patient experiment in the 1970s.

I read the study that night in my hotel room and immediately was transfixed, not only by the focus on misdiagnosis but the beautiful, spot-on descriptions about how you are treated when there is a psychiatric label attached to you. I immediately knew that I wanted to learn more about the study and the man behind it.

In what ways has Rosenhan’s 1973 study been groundbreaking in changing the field of psychiatry?

You can’t really underplay the role that this one study had on psychiatry and public perception of the field. The study occurred right at the center of a lot of controversy hitting psychiatry–rampant public distrust, a movement away from Freud, issues with diagnosis, lack of clarity about its role within the rest of medicine. This study hit into the heart of all of its insecurities. It was an embarrassment to the field, and as I found out, even played a role in reshaping the field towards a more biological approach, encapsulated by the creation of the DSM-III. It also gave fodder to the antipsychiatry movement and to the growing push to close institutions, something called deinstitutionalization.

The Great Pretender is a journalistic investigation of Rosenhan’s study, as you searched diligently for the truth of what happened during his “experiment” that led to healthy people spending time in psychiatric facilities. As a result of your research, you discovered false statements and misinformation he included as “facts” in his report. What did you come to suspect was his motive was for this behavior?

I can only speculate about motives. I think that he truly believed that he was doing positive work–at the time institutions were often terrible, shameful places and I believe that he felt he was accurately pinpointing a real problem. I also think that he wanted to make a splash with this piece, and I think that he allowed himself to take many liberties with the truth to get that splash.

Why did you believe it was important to write this book and expose not only the good that became of Rosenhan’s work, but also the untruths he intended to pass off for true statements?

This study had such a tremendous effect and is still taught in many classrooms around the country. It’s still trotted out as evidence that psychiatry lacks validity and its institutions are harmful places.

Though I do think there are serious limitations within psychiatry and its institutions, it’s important to accurately pinpoint those problems so we can make progress. What this study does is allow us to look back, take a more nuanced and careful look at the mistakes and the misconceptions of the past, allowing us to clear the way for a real, open and honest discussion about the issues in mental health care for the future. At least I hope so.

Do you have suggestions for how your readers may be able to help those who experience mental health issues, in ways that could help make a difference?

On an individual level I think it’s important to understand that someone who struggles with serious mental illness is not always “ill.” We all at various points cross in and out of what we know as sanity and insanity. It’s so easy to discount people based solely on their diagnosis and I hope that this provides some more insight into the complexity of that experience. I hope it shines some light into the complexity of all of our experiences with mental/physical/emotional health.

I also hope that it calls into question why so many of us sympathize with people when they have a “physical” illness, but we are far more likely to ascribe blame or be frightened or suspicious of someone with a mental illness. Why do we do this? I think part of it is the fear of the unknown–the brain is one of the final frontiers and the idea that someone could lose themselves without a known reason is deeply unsettling.

That said, I hope you look at people actively struggling with serious mental illness with more compassion–much like you would someone with any kind of chronic physical illness–after reading my book. That’s my dream.

Lemuria has selected The Great Pretender its January 2020 selection for its First Editions Club for Nonfiction.

Picking Their Brains: ‘Unthinkable’ by Helen Thomson

“Does my world look like yours?” Helen Thomson asks this in Unthinkable: An Extraordinary Journey Through the World’s Strangest Brains. I really surprised myself when I picked this book up. The two psychology classes I took in high school were interesting, but that was the last time I thought about the brain. But when I looked at Unthinkable when we got them in, the cover just grabbed ahold of my attention. Each chapter focuses on a real person from around the world and the rare brain disorder they have. The chapter that made me buy this book is about a man named Graham who, for three years, believed he was dead. Objectively, he knew he wasn’t. He was able to walk and talk and tell the doctor he was “dead,” but for some reason, his brain wasn’t letting him grasp that he was alive.

A lot of the people featured in this book have a disorder known as synesthesia. Synesthesia is a phenomenon in which the activation of one sense will also trigger a second sense. In the book, Ruben is a man that associates colors with people in an almost aura-like sense. Different colors mean different things to him, for example, he associates red with things he likes. A famous synesthete was Vladimir Nabokov who had grapheme-color synesthesia, where he saw specific letters in specific colors. In his own words, “The long a of the English alphabet….has for me the tint of weathered wood, but a French a evokes polished ebony. I am puzzled by my French on which I see as the brimming tension-surface of alcohol in a small glass… In the brown group, there are the rich rubbery tone of soft g, paler j, and the drab shoelace of h.”

The most interesting chapter to me was about Sharon, who would get completely lost in her own house. Since the age of 5, Sharon’s world would completely flip around to where she couldn’t figure out where she was. She soon realized this was happening whenever she spun around quickly or took a curvy road to her destination. At a party, when she was young, though, she figured out that the trick to right everything around her was to spin around again. Sharon calls this her Wonder Woman impression. For a long time, she was ashamed of this condition. At age 5, her mother told her not to tell anybody about this, or “they’ll say you’re a witch and burn you.” For 25 years, she hid this disorder from everyone, even her husband! Finally, in the 2000s, a scientist by the name of Giuseppe Iaria helped her come to terms with her condition.

This book is full of other interesting people, from Bob who remembers every day of his life, to Matar who truly believes he turns into a tiger at night. Thomson does an excellent job of frankly describing these people. The tone of this book could easily be sterile, but there’s a lot of warmth when she speaks of these people, as if they were her friends. In each chapter, Thomson also mentions similar cases, past and present, which I found interesting. As I read Unthinkable, it felt like a friend was telling me all of this over coffee. Even if you only have a passing interest in psychology, you will love this book!

Prominent Enneagram teacher forges understanding in ‘The Path Between Us’

By George Patton Jr. Special to the Clarion-Ledger Sunday print edition (May 13)

We all see the same things in life, but what we do with what we see can be very different for each of us.

For over twenty-five years, Suzanne Stabile, one of the foremost teachers of the Enneagram, has taught multitudes of individuals throughout the United States and around the world.

The Enneagram describes nine unique personality types, or, as they are also known, essence types. Our behavior, interactions, and how we relate to others are determined by the characteristics unique to each number. This wisdom has been accumulated over many years from the great philosophers and the teaching of all the world’s great religions.

path between usIn The Path Between Us, Mrs. Stabile gives us priceless information and advice to govern our interactions with others, many of whom will approach life from a much different perspective than you or me. Christian, Jew, Muslim, man, woman, gay, or straight. If this country and the world are to survive, then we must be able to communicate, not by social media, but by verbal and physical interaction. If we have no concept of who we are and much less who others are we will never have truly meaningful relationships. If we are ever to have crucial conversations with each other and if we are ever to truly love and have compassion for our neighbor then The Path Between Us is a must read.

In her introduction, Mrs. Stabile describes each Enneagram number. She follows with ten chapters that lead to a better understanding of our Enneagram number and the Enneagram number of those around us. We are not, she adds, simply a number, but a complex personality who must interact with other complex personalities.

Mrs. Stabile is a master of storytelling, and each chapter contains entertaining and important stories. Mrs. Stabile highlights ways that your Enneagram number may interact with all of the other Enneagram numbers. Each chapter ends with suggestions on how to better interact with other specific Enneagram numbers.
The Path Between Us certainly can stand alone but is best read after reading her original collaboration with Ian Cron, The Road Back to You which describes in depth each Enneagram number.

Mrs. Stabile shows us how to avoid diverging paths and instead leads us toward converging paths. These will ultimately become the paths to love, compassion, and understanding. I believe it was said best in her own words, “when we are able to see ourselves as we are, and as we can be, it’s a beautiful thing.”

George Patton Jr. has practiced internal medicine in Jackson for 35 years and annually judges scholastic writing awards.

Rachel Hollis’s ‘Girl, Wash Your Face’ is a well of wit and wisdom

by Abbie Walker

“Do you ever suspect that everyone else has life figured out and you don’t have a clue?”

If you’re anything like me, you answered “Yes” to that question. And if so, Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis might be the book for you.

girl wash your faceHollis is best known for her lifestyle website, The Chic Site, where she offers tips on motherhood, homemaking, career life, and more to her millions of followers. She’s also the CEO of her own media company.

In this book, Hollis lays out 21 lies that women often believe about themselves, lies such as “I’m Not Good Enough,” “I’m Not a Good Mom,” “I Am Defined by My Weight,” and other struggles that keep many women from living joyful, productive lives. Dishing out the same honest advice that her online community loves so much, Hollis combats these lies with truths she’s learned over the years, using her own examples of mistakes and faith to encourage and inspire.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know who Rachel Hollis was before I picked up this book. But when I kept hearing her name crop up among podcasters, bloggers, and other women I admire, I decided to check it out. And I’m so glad I did!

What I love about this book is how refreshingly honest and real Hollis is. Instead of the fluffy, surface-level content that I unfortunately see from many Christian women authors, this book is packed with a lot of humor and wisdom. She covers a variety of topics: marriage, motherhood, comparison, rejection, addiction, and loss. Each chapter had something that hit home with me, and even though I’m not a wife or mother, the parts where Hollis talked about her struggles in those areas addressed a lot of fears I didn’t realize I had. Some of my favorite chapters were “I Should Be Further Along by Now” and “I’m a Terrible Writer.”

Hollis is a relatable and entertaining narrator who you can’t help but love. I laughed with her as she recounted peeing her pants as a grown woman, empathized with her through her painful adoption journey, and gave her a mental fist pump when she talked about training for a half-marathon.

The advice in this book is extremely practical. Each chapter ends with three tips that Hollis calls, “Things That Helped Me.” It’s reassuring to hear someone older than me talk about their journey so I don’t feel so alone in where I am now and to have a better sense of how to navigate what’s ahead.

Girl, Wash Your Face is for women of any age or life stage who want to face the lies and insecurities head on and start taking charge of the narrative. I’ve already been recommending or gifting this book to all my closest girlfriends.

“Get up, right now. Rise up from where you’ve been, scrub away the tears and the pain of yesterday, and start again . . . Girl, wash your face!”

Author Q & A with Suzanne Stabile

Interview by Jana Hoops. Special to the Clarion-Ledger Sunday print edition (May 6)

Most of us, Suzanne Stabile says, “have no idea” that other people don’t see things the way we do.

Not only that, but they don’t process their experiences in the same way, either. And to make things even more interesting, it turns out that some of us rely mostly on our feelings, while others are thinkers; and still others are definitely “doers.”

The implications of these truths for relationships can be devastating or magnificent–or a lot of points in between.

Fortunately, Stabile can help us figure it all out. As a highly sought-after Enneagram master teacher, she knows how to help the rest of us bridge the gaps and come together.

path between usIn fact, when it comes to coming together, she wrote the book. The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships not only describes the nine personality types of this ancient approach to behavior evaluation, but reveals how each relates to the others, fostering more mature and compassionate relationships at every level.

Stabile is also the co-author of the bestseller The Road Back to You and, as an internationally recognized Enneagram master, she has spoken at more the 500 workshops at churches, colleges, and conferences around the nation.

She  and her husband, the Rev. Joseph Stabile, are the founders of the Life in the Trinity Ministry in Dallas, Texas, a nonprofit, nondenominational ministry focusing on spiritual growth for adults.

What is the Enneagram, and how did you become interested in it?

The Enneagram is essentially nine ways of seeing. It is an ancient spiritual wisdom that teaches us that there are nine different ways of seeing and nine ways of experiencing the world. Additionally, there are nine ways of answering some of life’s basic questions like: “Who am I?” and “Why do I do the things I do?”

The Enneagram has an unknown origin, but has been used in all faith beliefs in one way or another for at least several hundred years and at most several thousand. The Enneagram is unique in what it offers us as we make our way from who we are to who we hope to be.

I read a book by Richard Rohr and my husband, a former Roman Catholic priest, and I started seeing Father Rohr on a regular basis and learning from his wisdom. Father Rohr was very encouraging about my interest in the Enneagram and he suggested I study without talking about the Enneagram for four or five years. I don’t think he would suggest that to everyone. That was specific to me because he knew I wanted to teach it.

Suzanne Stabile

Suzanne Stabile

I spent the time observing others, taking notes about how people were different from me, how they were different from each other, and only listening when others talked about the Enneagram. Without explaining it to me, Father Richard’s advice paved the way for me to gain a deeper understanding of the many facets of Enneagram wisdom.

As a result of my willingness to follow his instruction, when I began teaching, I had more than a passing knowledge of the numbers. I had embraced the depth and seemingly unending possibilities of how this ancient understanding could enhance our ability to be more compassionate with others and with ourselves. The practice of acceptance and the kindness that followed has served me well in every aspect of my life both personally and professionally.

Explain the spiritual component of the Enneagram.

My husband, Joe, and I led an institute for spiritual formation for a long time. It was a two-year program and one of the things we learned early on was that most people share in common the firs two stumbling blocks in a serious spiritual journey towards transformation. The first thing they run into is all the things they don’t like about themselves. That’s followed by the concerns and wounding they bring from family of origin. The wisdom of the Enneagram addresses both effectively.

We are each, by Enneagram number, well suited for some spiritual practices, but not for others. There is great frustration in trying to engage in a spiritual practice that isn’t suited to your number. It seems essential for those who want to know God, that they know themselves.

In your book, you explain the nine personality types: perfectionist, helper, performer, individualist, investigator, loyalist, enthusiast, challenger, and peacemaker. Why is it so important that we understand not only our own Enneagram type, but those with whom we have the closest relationships?

We all live with the idea that we are seeing the same thing and having the same experiences as those around us. We are not. Perhaps, that assumption is the greatest stumbling block for relationships. Learning how others see and process information is a game changer.

I’ve earned in recovery group settings that every expectation is resentment waiting to happen. Without an understanding of our differences, expectations are very likely. Resentment follows, and both discontentment and fragmentation are unavoidable.

The reason I teach the Enneagram is to increase compassion and civility in the world. If your only understanding is about your own number, then it limits rather than adds to our need for a more forgiving  and compassionate world view. My teaching is taking a direction toward asking the question “what would be best for the common good?” We have individuated ourselves to such a degree that we’ve lost sight of the necessity for belonging to a great community, and for finding meaning in our lives by contributing to the larger community.

How is the Enneagram different from other personality tests?

In terms of other personality-typing systems, I think they’re all good and each has its place. As a spiritual wisdom tool, the Enneagram names us (according to our strengths, and at the same time provides us with information and opportunity to do something about what we’ve learned.

I have not found the online Enneagram tests to be accurate because they lack the ability to measure motive, the key factor in discerning one’s Enneagram number. That is one of the reasons I wrote the book. The Enneagram has been an oral tradition for centuries. Anyone who has the opportunity to hear the Enneagram taught orally by a qualified Enneagram master teacher will greatly benefit from that experience. The narrative approach has a lot of value because the Enneagram is deceptively simple, and nuance is very important. That nuance is best represented in stories.

What do you say to people who see Enneagram principles or conclusions in a skeptical light, or who may even have a fear that it could be dangerous in some way?

The world needs more acceptance and open-mindedness, and less suspicion and intolerance. Imagine the wars, fights, and pain that can be avoided by asking questions from a place of love and tolerance, rather than casting predetermined judgments from a place of fear and suspicion.

I am often asked, “what’s dangerous about the Enneagram?” I’ve given the question a lot of thought. As I know and understand this ancient wisdom, the only dangerous thing about the Enneagram is if it taken to be more than it is. It is literally just one spiritual wisdom tool. There are many others and they all have their own value. The Enneagram is just one, but it’s pretty great!

What if you read the book and feel like you cannot figure out where you fit among the Enneagram “numbers”?

The Path Between Us is not designed to introduce readers to the nine Enneagram types, instead it is based on the idea that the reader is already aware of his or her own Enneagram type. We can’t recommend highly enough the value of starting with my Enneagram primer, The Road Back to You that I co-authored with Ian Morgan Cron.

Another possibility would be to listen to my “Know Your Number” recordings, or even better, attending a Know Your Number workshop in person. There will be a Know Your Number workshop in Jackson in January 2019, taught by my daughter Joey. I will be there later in the month for an advanced Enneagram workshop.

Why do you believe that more and more people are becoming interested  in studying the Enneagram today?

The generations that have followed the baby boomers seem to be more interested in understanding themselves individually rather than collectively. It seems that they have more space for difference and more tolerance for “the other.” The Enneagram, by its very nature, fits within that context as a way of thinking.

At this time in our culture, people don’t seem to be turning only to the church to try to understand life. It doesn’t take long on a journey towards self-knowledge to develop an interest in tools like the Enneagram that have a way of explaining how we’re like other people and how we are different.

From my perspective as a Christian, I would add that the Enneagram helps us in knowing ourselves, so that we might know God and then better understand ourselves in relation to God.

What is your hope for people who read your new book?

I actually believe  we are in a relationship crisis. We are becoming more polarized as we try to navigate the episodic meaning that defines our lives both individually and collectively. And, we seem to know ourselves by what we are against instead of by what we are for. We’re more tribal than at any other time in my lifetime and as a 67-year-old that is astonishing to me.

When people are taught the Enneagram by someone who knows it well, it can change how they see the world and how they interact with those who see it differently. Once people are exposed to this ancient wisdom, they begin to respond to difference with curiosity instead of judgment. They respond to misunderstanding with compassion instead of rejection, and diversity becomes a gift instead of a stumbling block.

Suzanne Stabile will be at Lemuria on Tuesday, May 8, at 5:00 to sign and read from The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships.

The Enneagram Illuminates ‘The Path Between Us’ Here at Lemuria

Here at Lemuria, we’re pretty into the Enneagram.

We’ve always had a great Eneagram section in our store with a wide variety of Enneagram books, so it’s only fitting that we would host the amazing Suzanne Stabile for her book tour of The Path Between Us. We’re all pretty excited!

path between usIn The Path Between Us, Stabile shares the Enneagram’s wisdom on how relationships work–or don’t. With her generous and insightful approach, she reveals why all Enneagram types behave as they do. This book also offers help in creating more loving, mature, and compassionate relationships with everyone in our lives. This can be personal relationships, family relationships, and/or work relationships. We’ve pretty much all figured out what our Enneagram numbers are in the store, either by choice or by someone else figuring it out for us. So, we’re all working on using Stabile’s new book to help us interact with one another a little better. It’s very helpful to now see when a two is overwhelmed from taking on too much from others, and a five is feeling uncomfortable in a certain situation now.

I’m a 1 and I’m pretty okay with that. I feel like I’m mostly on the healthy side of a being a 1, but I know I see and feel myself on the unhealthy side at times. I think that being a 1 helps me with my daily tasks at work. I like to be very organized and to plan out my day, which I feel helps me to make sure I am getting all of my tasks done, and helps me to organize my front desk team/booksellers for daily tasks and for book signing events. I also think that being a 1 helps me to make decisions and to be able to problem solve quickly, which comes in handy.

However, I am also very particular about how and why I do certain things. For example, I put out most of our large quantities of books and have a certain way I like them and really think through the process and placement of them. It’s hard for me to understand why someone else wouldn’t put the same amount of effort and thought into doing this and frustrates me when it happens. Therefore, I end up thinking my way is the only way to do certain things and end up trying to just do everything myself. I also like to keep my anger in, which means that when I do become frustrated, I feel like a lot comes out all at once and I am rude when I try to explain why I feel things need to be done a certain way. All in all, I feel like Stabile’s book has helped me to better understand myself and those around me so that I can take the right steps in different situations with different people.

I asked some of my fellow booksellers to tell me their numbers and why they feel like the Enneagram has helped them better understand themselves as well. Here is what they had to say! Enjoy!
Trianne:

I’m a 4 with a 3 wing. 4’s tend to expect a lot from relationships, and not all of their hopes are realistic. Knowing and learning about myself as a 4 has helped me to notice the differences between what other people want out of relationships and what I want, and by being aware I can keep my expectations grounded in reality.

Aimee:

aimee enneagram vertI’m a 4, and we’re often described as very in tune with our emotions. As Suzanne Stabile says “4’s have as many emotions in an hour as [another number] has in a week.” While I already knew this about myself, it was helpful to learn more about how my number typically relates to other numbers. Now I know not to take it personally if a friend doesn’t take as much interest in something I as I do; it’s understandable that not everyone outwardly feels as deeply as 4’s do.

Abbie:

I’m a 1, so it’s hard for me to admit when maybe I’m not doing things perfectly, especially in my relationships. Stabile’s book helped me see from the perspective of others in my life so I can be more sensitive to what they’re feeling and know how to communicate with them better.

Andrew:

I’m a five. Even though I often prefer self improvement through experience, rather than theory, I’ve found learning about the Enneagram to be a fun, engaging, and comprehensible way to understand my motivations and personal relationships.

John:

I’m a five. Enneagram study is a good way to internally reflect on what drives your personality unconsciously. Reflecting on the hidden motives of your shadow controls can open the doors of perception to your inner self and a more authentic self is the result. Knowing my Enneagram number and how it affects different relationships has helped me not be as manipulating.

Pat:

pat enneagram vertBeing a six is not easy. We sixes want to make the world a safe place, especially for ourselves. It’s our most basic need. Just look at the world around us-DANGER ZONES everywhere. When the danger zone settles into our psyche—somebody, please bar the door! Being an awakened, progressively recovering 6, I channeled the need for safety to the homeless pets of the city of Jackson Animal Shelter, to help find safer places for them. That calling has changed my worldview. Thanks, Suzanne Stabile.

Suzanne Stabile will be at Lemuria on Tuesday, May 8, at 5:00 p.m. to sign and read from The Path Between Us.

Learn more: Jana Hoops interviews Suzanne Stabile

‘Living an Examined Life’: Wisdom for Any Part of the Journey

I started reading Living an Examined Life: Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey by James Hollis on the recommendation from Lemuria’s owner, John Evans. living an examined lifeAt 27, I would’ve shied away from a title targeting readers in the second half of their life without a recommendation, and I’m glad I took this one. Hollis offers a wealth of practical wisdom to understand how we are affected by our backgrounds, what is holding us back in the present, and how the choices we make are shaping our future.

Living An Examined Life is broken down into chapters that individually address a topic for personal development, e.g. “The Choice Is Yours,” “It’s Time to Grow Up,” or “What Gift Have Been Withholding from the World?” The chapters are on different topics, but the themes are recurring. Every individual holds the power to direct their life; whether they go down the path they are called to, stepping beyond the comfort zone in the pursuit of growth, or choosing a life of comfortable complacency, where the ache of the unlived life is found.

I was expecting (maybe hoping for) a fairly quick read, but I got stuck a time or twelve, acknowledging truths about myself that I would generally prefer to avoid. The premise of many of the topics revolves around the pursuit of growth, or ‘unstuckness.’ Hollis would identify life’s two biggest threats as: fear and lethargy. At face value, I’m not a readily identifiable candidate to identify with either. I have had a chronic tendency as an adult to constantly leap into new things, at a rather dizzying pace. I was hit hard when he discussed our attempts to outrun our issues. Here I uncomfortably found myself, and I will be sitting and mulling on my subconscious decision making tendencies for quite a while.

Living An Examined Life is a book I would highly recommend for any adult. There is much to be gleaned for everyone in Hollis’ work. I cannot promise you your most comfortable read, but I can promise you one of your most powerful!

Your spring cleaning motivation

by Abbie Walker

May is here, and it’s not too late to get a start on spring cleaning! The task can be pretty daunting, but I’ve got some great books that will inspire and give you the push you need to get rid of the junk that’s cluttering up your homes and your lives for good.

JacketFor those of you who are ready to get serious about “out with the old,” pick up a copy of the acclaimed The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. You’ve heard about it. You’ve seen it. You’ve wondered if it’s all it’s cracked up to be. Well, let me tell you, this book really is life-changing if you give it a chance. Kondo’s method, also known as KonMari, is all about surrounding yourself with the things that bring you joy. In fact, that’s the key question. Kondo asks you to gather your things, take each one in your hand, and ask yourself, “Does this spark joy?” It may sound ridiculous, but it actually works.

Having done the KonMari method myself, I found that collecting all my belongings from each category (clothes, then books, etc.) made me realize how much I actually owned (and it was shocking). Kondo’s take on letting go of the items that make us feel weighed down, guilty, or simply don’t inspire us is definitely eye-opening.

I’m not going to lie—you have to take this book with a grain of salt. It’s pretty Japanese, so any mention of “waking up” or “being kind” to your belongings needs to be considered light-heartedly (although Kondo is dead serious about verbally thanking your stuff). I didn’t follow her method exactly, rather altered it to fit my lifestyle and personal preferences. But it has definitely changed the way I view my possessions and what I really need in my life. “You will never use spare buttons” is something I didn’t know I needed to hear until I read this book. It takes time and work, but trust me when I say that this method is totally freeing. My new space definitely attests to that. Crazy as it sounds, Kondo was right that tidying can actually be fun.

Jacket (1)Another recent read that really helped transform my perspective on material things is The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Guide to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify by Francine Jay. This book not only goes over how to de-clutter, organize, and maintain each room of the house, it also focuses on mindset. I really appreciated Jay’s discussion about our consumeristic culture and why we feel the need to purchase so much. After reading Kondo’s book, I was happy to see a more American take on materialism and why we as a society have come to equate stuff with success. She also encourages people to be responsible and educated consumers who are contributing less to the problems with waste and unfair labor conditions in our world. This is definitely a great read for those who are looking to not only to decrease the amount of things in their home, but who also want to decrease their ecological footprint. Jay’s down-to-earth style and relatable examples make this an enjoyable and motivating read.

Jacket (2)Lastly, for those hardcore minimalists out there, take a look at Simple Matters: Living with Less and Ending up with More by Erin Boyle. This book is all about getting down to those bare essentials and understanding that more stuff doesn’t necessarily mean more happiness. Filled with advice about how to downsize your things, as well as personal stories and projects, Boyle challenges readers to embrace a simpler life. The images of clean, crisp rooms are gorgeous and inspiring. However, I’ll give you a heads up and say that when Boyle means simple, she really means simple. Don’t be surprised to find photos of bare walls and surfaces, or entire rooms empty except for a bed and maybe a single flower in a vase. Whether this fits your lifestyle or not, Boyle definitely makes you consider what is really necessary in a home and how you can save money and time that is usually poured into your home and use it for more enriching experiences.

Happy spring cleaning!

Sit down. It’s time to talk about consciousness.

My husband is falling asleep across the table from me, in full view of the bar.

In his defense, we have just left a giant party that we attended in order to raise money for The Jackson Free Clinic, an incredible organization for which he regularly busts his ass. He is tired. He took a test today to end a rotation, and “only made a B” [insert my eye rolling here]. Tomorrow he starts a new rotation at the hospital and he is already dreading the all-night shifts, and here am, at this loud bar, making him drink whiskey and eat fish tacos because I just had to find out why there were so many movie trailers outside, and the only way to be cool about it is to pretend we were already planning on coming here anyway, and “oh, what are these trailers doing here? Filming a movie? How inconvenient!” (It’s a horror movie, by the way, and I am very disappointed that I am not now fast friends with at least one of the Affleck brothers.)

JacketTo top all of this off, I will not shut up about octopuses. You heard me right, I cannot shut my pie hole about the spineless cephalopods crawling around on the ocean floor, and my poor, exhausted husband is trying so hard to pay attention. In his defense, he really does care because he is, after all, a man of science. Circumstances are simply preventing him from giving me his full attention. Why do I have such a wealth of knowledge about the ageless octopus, you ask? It is because I am still coming down from the book high that came from finishing Sy Montgomery’s new masterpiece The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration into the Wonder of Consciousness (which was just longlisted for the National Book Award in the nonfiction category).

Montgomery, author of several acclaimed books like The Good Good Pig, brings such a personal element to this book about ancient cephalopods that it is impossible to not be swept away on the journey with her. Early on in the book, Montgomery explains the history in the scientific community of ascribing consciousness to animals. Until recently, scientists have been wary to put too much stock behind attributing specific and complex personalities to animals due to the fear that we would simply project our own human ideas of what consciousness is, and completely misunderstand the science behind why animals do what they do. If an animal like the octopus shows extreme intelligence, it is so tempting to assume that they have the same complex feelings that humans do, and that is a big no no.

So how is it possible to go on an incredibly personal journey when your writing is prefaced with this giant warning about not getting too emotional? Surprisingly (or maybe not surprisingly at all), setting aside our ideas of human consciousness and making room to understand a completely new and alien kind of intelligence is transformative. Montgomery was able to learn to love the octopuses that she came into contact with in a fresh way, a way that made room for an unfathomable, yet nevertheless emotional, bond.

Although it is impossible to completely detach and not project at least some human feelings onto the octopus, several things were made clear to me throughout reading this book. Octopuses are each unique; shy, adventures, solitary, grumpy, or playful. They get itchy. They get bored. Octopuses remember. They seem to take comfort in the presence of an old friend, relaxing and asking to be petted when visited by someone that they like. They forget things in their old age. Their arms contain roughly two thirds of their neurons, meaning that each of the eight arms kind of does have a mind of its own. They taste with their skin, which is how they recognize the humans that they fear/enjoy, and how they hunt the waters around them.

Sy Montgomery fell in love, specifically with two or three of the giant Pacific octopuses housed at the New England Aquarium in Boston. The aquarium is a sprawling, magical complex with exhibits ranging from feisty penguins to grumpy eels, and a webcam fixed in their Giant Ocean Tank, which you can watch here (I have had trouble doing anything else today, especially when Myrtle, the ancient sea turtle who lives in the tank, swims up the camera and rolls around flirtatiously in the water). Montgomery also forged friendships with the volunteers, regular members, and staff that surrounded her, and tenderly peeked into each of their lives, making the book both rich and sad at times. These people bonded over their love of the mysterious octopuses that brought them together, and they left each day mystified and changed.

This nonfiction book about octopuses and the cosmic questions that surround consciousness made me cry. CRY. And I laughed, too, totally in love with how little I know, and at the intoxicating thirst for knowledge that this book gave to me.

It’s hard to explain this strange combination of new facts and the overwhelming feeling of smallness that this book gave to me over drinks while my husband is falling asleep. But don’t worry, I’ve already bookmarked about 100 articles and videos on the miracle that is the octopus, and we’ll be exploring them very soon. To my husband: hope you weren’t planning on reading the Sunday Times this weekend, because I’ve got other plans for us. Time to talk cephalopods.

A Boundary-less Life: From Brokenness to Healing    

There is no denying that books have the power to change our lives. The extent to which their contents affects us may vary, but there is not a one that has not gifted me with additional insight, understanding, and knowledge. I have come to realize that books are like people; you learn something from even the worst of them.

 

While viewing all books as an opportunity for personal enrichment, I must also distinguish those that have affected my life more deeply than others. The book, Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is one that not only impacted me deeply, but changed my life. I read it after graduating from college the summer of 2014. I walked away from Boundaries a different person, a much healthier person. My only regret is that I didn’t read it sooner; that it wasn’t recommended to me sooner. I have spent the last year shouting its merit from every available rooftop, and I am thrilled to be able to share its impact on me with those that walk through the door at Lemuria.

 

Jacket (12)The book claims that it tells you “when to say yes, how to say no, to take control of your life.” The claim is not made falsely. In reading its pages, I found both healing and empowerment for the broken person I had become. With the best of intentions, I had drained my personal resources to a scary number well below zero. With a naturally empathetic heart, I had taken on my shoulders the responsibility for those around me. They needed my help. They needed to be shown what it looked like to be loved and cared for, because I truly loved and cared for them. Most importantly in my mind, and also the most draining and difficult: I needed to be what they needed me to be for them. These were all lovely ideas, that ended badly for me. They were unsustainable, as all unhealthiness generally is. I ran into the foundational principle of economics, in that we are faced with scarce resources; and I realized first hand that that principle not only applies to the market place, but to my personal life as well. I am so thankful for the brokenness in my life that led a dear friend to loan me her copy of Boundaries.

 

I hope that everyone discovers their own personal boundaries sooner than I did, via this book or from another source. I also do know that there are some people out there that do not struggle with boundaries as much I did, but I still recommend this book to you. I firmly believe that there is something valuable in its contents to be gleaned for everyone. For those that do struggle like I did (and do), I hope that the knowledge of personal boundaries and their necessity for healthy relationships can be understood sooner and in a more pretty fashion than mine were. I recommend the contents of Boundaries to both the young and old. I cannot think of a season in life where boundaries are not important. I particularly challenge you to consider buying this book for the young people in your lives, that are just embarking on their path in life. You never know, you might gift them with something incredible; you might change their life.

 

 

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