Humor – Lemuria Books

Category: Humor

Going for Gold: ‘Medallion Status’ by John Hodgman

On October 24, 2019

by Andrew Hedglin

Since so much of John Hodgman’s new memoir, Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms, is concerned about his dwindling fame, I had to ask myself: how did I come to consider him famous in the first place? I’m in my thirties, so I remember those “Mac vs. PC” commercials and his appearances on the Daily Show. Mostly I just wondered to myself “…he isn’t famous anymore?” I guess I’m thinking of fame in author standards, which is probably a lower bar than for people on television.

Hodgman just released the excellent Vacationland two years ago, which I enjoyed tremendously (as did Aimee). I think I might have liked Medallion Status even better, however. Although the stories meander pleasantly in various directions, the main theme of the power is… Status. Privilege. Fame. Or at least the flirtation with it.

Hodgman writes about the titular exclusive airline perks, Hollywood castle hotels, secret cabals, television sets, and at least two encounters with Paul Rudd. It’s all very glamorous, or seems to be so, anyway. It’s supposed to. But even as Hodgman is invited into this rarefied air, he is always humbled by insecurities and indignities, whether understandable (as when he is criticized by his director for his sub-par acting abilities) or absurd (being upstaged by a pair of Instagram-famous corgis at a party). The biggest indignity of all, however, is the transience of fame.

Worry not for John Hodgman, however. He has a pretty good fall-back in this book-writing thing. Other fantastic chapters that stand out to me are ones in which he describes all the jobs he has had, his fascination with extinct hockey teams, a Florida road trip with excursions to Mar-a-Lago and the Scientology headquarters, and one more small town story from Maine, if you really missed that from Vacationland.

Everybody needs a laugh now and then, and John Hodgman provides some of the best I’ve encountered in the literary world in some time, in between moving bouts of moving self-reflection. Which isn’t always as in demand, but it definitely should be. If you need either of those things in your life, or are just curious for a sneak peak in the margins of the high life, pick up a copy of Medallion Status today and join an elite set of sophisticated readers.

Wisdom of southern womanhood in Helen Ellis’s ‘Southern Lady Code’ sparkles with humor, savvy, sound advice

By Guest Author

On April 30, 2019

In Essays, Humor, Southern Culture

By Emily Gatlin. Special to the Clarion-Ledger Sunday print edition (April 28)

The ways of Southern women are shining front and center recently, thanks to the recent success of Garden & Gun guides and most notably, Reese Witherspoon’s Whiskey in a Teacup, which takes everything our mamas taught us as we rolled our eyes at her, and packages it with glossy photos of unattainable wallpaper goals in a sleek pink coffee table book. Basically.

But as a whole, Southern women aren’t biscuits and sweet tea, and we’re certainly not M’Lynn Eatenton or Mrs. Gump, although we do tip our big floppy hats to Californian Sally Field for her performances and pseudo-passable accent attempts.

No, our blood even has its own special genetic code, forged by generations of literal sweating. The oppressive humidity we, as Southern women, curse every year like we aren’t expecting it, is its own Fountain of Youth. Our dewy glow springs eternal. We are witches who do not age. And when we do, Botox and fillers seem to magically do what they are supposed to.

We’re much more complex—always nice (even when we must call on our better angels to be so), and tiptoe a tightrope between being passive aggressive and genuine. For example: A woman at the grocery store is wearing bright pink lipstick, a strapless romper and flip flops with a French pedicure. Instead of saying, “She’s tacky,” we’d say my personal go-to, “Look what she likes!” Feel free to borrow that one.

This is what bestselling author and Alabama native Helen Ellis calls “Southern Lady Code,” which is also the name of her new book. It’s a technique by which, if you don’t have something nice to say, you say something not so nice in a nice way. It’s all about phrasing with us. Think of “investment pieces” you have in your wardrobe. That’s Southern Lady Code for “The Oscar De La Renta cocktail dress hanging in the back of your closet that costs more than a Henredon bed, but you’ll wear it for decades!” Which is half true—you’ll realize you’ve been clinging to a size 4 dress that you haven’t been able to wear since 1986 and give it to your daughter when you’re downsizing at 70. (Thanks, Mom!)

“Wheelhouse” is Southern Lady Code for “comfort zone.” If a friend, and even a close one who should know better, were to ask, “Would you like to go mud riding with us at Sardis Lake?” you would say, “No, thank you. That is not really in my wheelhouse. Would you like for me to pack you a picnic basket with cold salads and fruit?”

Fresh off the heels of American Housewife, Ellis’s brilliant collection of short stories, she takes a turn here at an essay collection, explaining Southern Lady Code to the masses, as she gives glimpses of her life as a Southerner who has called New York City home for the majority of her adult life. Bless her heart, she married into it.

Her deadpan humor is razor sharp and laugh out loud funny, a rare pearl in the canon of “Southern”-themed books and essays that too often read like tea that’s been steeped too long. She’s the guest at the dinner party you really don’t want to attend, but go anyway in hopes that you’ll be seated near her. (A Southern word of advice from Ellis about dinner parties: Be the first guest to arrive and the first to leave. Sound.)

Ellis’s essay collection covers everything from manners to monograms, a man who fakes his death at her eighth grade birthday party, and when she turned herself into a dominatrix version of Donna Reed to save her marriage.

Southern Lady Code is one you’re going to buy for yourself and share the joy with every woman you know.

Emily Gatlin is the Digital Editor of the Wonderlust travel website and the author of The Unknown Hendrix and 101 Greatest American Rock Songs and the Stories Behind Them. She lives in Oxford, Miss.

Author Q & A with Helen Ellis

By Guest Author

On April 21, 2019

In Humor, Southern Culture

Interview by Jana Hoops. Special to the Clarion-Ledger Sunday print edition (April 21)

Alabama native and author Helen Ellis has lived in New York City for more than a quarter century, but says she still wears her accent “on her sleeve,” which explains why her newest book is titled Southern Lady Code.

The premise of the 23 true essays which capture as many hilarious and often poignant episodes she’s gotten herself into, is one simple rule: “If you don’t have something nice to say, you say something not so nice in a nice way.”

Ellis also authored Eating the Cheshire Cat and American Housewife. In addition to–and often instead of–calling herself a writer, she also proudly claims the title of “housewife.”

A serious poker plays who learned the game from her father as a child, Ellis competes on the national tournament circuit. She and her husband happily reside in Manhattan.

You grew up in Tuscaloosa and, at age 22, you left for New York City in hopes of becoming a writer. Tell me about the career twists that landed you in the role of housewife–which eventually, with the help of Twitter, led to your success as a writer.

Helen Ellis

It was 1992, and I–dressed in my Talbot’s turtleneck, ankle-length wool plaid skirt, and penny loafers–walked from publishing house to publishing house, dropping my resume at reception desks like calling cards. I had the hopes of being an editorial assistant, but no publishing house called me. I walked into Talbots and got a job on the spot.

Two years later, I got a job at a financial magazine with the hopes of being an editorial assistant. They hired me to drum up subscriptions. I met a young reporter, who drummed up my heart.

A year later, I got into the NYU creative writing program, temped as a secretary, and through that temp agency, landed a long-term job in the chairman’s office of Chanel. I worked four days a week and wrote three.

Scribner published my first book, Eating the Cheshire Cat, in 2000.

I married that young reporter, who became an editor, in 2001.

And then I wrote another book, and nobody published it. And then I wrote another book, and nobody published it. And then I quit my secretarial job to write full time, supported by my husband, wrote another book, and nobody published it. And then I quit writing, and nobody cared.

I settled into a happy life as a housewife. And when people asked me what I did, I didn’t say writer, I said, “Housewife.” The next question was always: “What do you do all day?” I started an anonymous twitter account called @WhatIDoAllDay.

I tweeted about housework and hosting parties and book clubs and the beauty of banality. And then I wrote a story about how a housewife cleans up murders. And then I wrote a story about a book club recruiting a new member with a sinister motive. And then I wrote about what a woman left to her own devices could ultimately do all day. I wrote what I knew. And, 16 years after my first novel, Doubleday published my short story collection, American Housewife. And three years after that, they’ve published Southern Lady Code. This time, the stories are all true.

Explain the phrase “Southern Lady Code,” and how it became the title of your newest book.

Southern Lady Code is: if you don’t have something nice to say, say something not so nice, in a nice way. Twenty-five years in Manhattan, I kept finding myself translating what I’d say to people. “She’s a character” means drunk. Or “He’s an archivist” means hoarder. Or “Bless her heart” means “What an idiot.”

I’ve been tweeting these translations for more than five years. I turned some of those tweets into a short story in “American Housewife.” My … true stories … are now this book. Each essay has a line of code. So, for example, in “Making a Marriage Magically Tidy” I write about how my husband fell in love with a “creative” woman. “Creative” is Southern Lady Code for slob.

The essays which make up Southern Lady Code are not only hilarious, but packed with meaning that makes us pause. Tell me how humor has been important in your life, and how it has become your signature writing style.

I come from a funny family. Some of the best times I’ve had have been at funerals, where relatives and friends try and outdo each other with the most outrageous memories of the deceased. With humor, you can ease pain. And with humor, you can be honest. It’s easier to get your point across when you make the person you’re pointing at laugh. Especially when you’re pointing at yourself.

Poker has been a passion of yours since childhood. Tell us about its role in your life.

There have been times when I wasn’t writing, but I’ve always played poker. Poker is a chance for me to really be myself. I can be nice, but I don’t have to play nice. I can be at the table, but I don’t have to entertain. I can confront bullies and make them back down. I can be brave. And when I lose, and I most certainly do lose, I know there’s always another game. And as with after my losses in writing, when I am lucky enough to win and get published, the success is all the sweeter.

I’ve interviewed many writers who, like you, have moved away from the South, yet no matter how much time passes, they still consider themselves to be Southerners. How would you explain that sentiment?

My roots run deep. And I wear my accent on my sleeve.

Helen Ellis will be at Lemuria on Wednesday, April 24, at 5:00 p.m. to sign and discuss Southern Lady Code.

He Dreamed a Dream: ‘Congratulations, Who Are You Again?’ by Harrison Scott Key

By Former Lemurians

On November 8, 2018

In Biography/Memoir, Humor

by Andrew Hedglin

The first book that I fell in love with after I started working at Lemuria was Harrison Scott Key’s The World’s Largest Man, a memoir Key had written about his father. In addition to it simply being hilarious, it helped me contextualize the travails I’ve encountered when trying to write about my own family.

Key has returned with a metatextual sequel called Congratulations, Who Are You Again?, large parts of which detail the process of writing the first book. When Kelly, our store’s manager, first explained this concept to me, I was a little worried. Not because I thought the book wouldn’t be good (which it is, very good). But because I was worried that having to read another book first, in order to enjoy this one, seemed like a high barrier for entry. As in, the audience would naturally be a smaller piece of the initial audience.

But that’s not really true. What Key points out, early and often, is that this is not a book about his previous book. It’s about dreams.

The reason people could relate to his father-memoir is not that they knew Key’s own father personally, but that most people have had a father or father figure in their life. A story can hold up a mirror to our own experience.

Now, I’m a bookseller, and I love all the inside-baseball stuff here about how a book is made: the talk about the early morning coffee house writing, the publisher bids, the advance, the author tour, the Terry Gross king-making. I will personally treasure and adore for years to come a particularly exquisite and profane paragraph about the bookstore’s view of author events. Book people and wannabe writers will find lots here to enjoy.

But dreams come in all shapes and sizes. They have different rewards and consequences. What’s interesting here is how Key’s original dream was just to make people laugh, and it took him a while to figure out that writing a book was the method he would use to achieve that. When he fist made decisions to make this goal come true, he was thrust into roles such as acting, academia, and even fund-raising.

On the other side of having written his book, he has to deal with success. Which suddenly seems important, but was not part of the original plan to begin with. Where Key ends up, as with his last book, is surrounded by his wife and daughters (hilariously given the nicknames Stargoat, Beetle, and Effbomb here for their protection). I don’t think this is designed, but it’s not a coincidence, either. I imagine that for most of us, our loved ones have a way of ending up at into the center of our dreams.

So, if you have any kind of dream, I think this book is worth reading. Even if you’re not familiar with Key’s own dream, he’s got an amusing way of explaining it and casting that reflection back onto us, the readers.

Harrison Scott Key will be at Lemuria on Friday, November 9, at 5:00 to sign and read from Congratulations, Who Are You Again?

Aimee’s Sizzling Summer Reads

By Aimee

On June 14, 2018

In Fiction, Humor, Mystery, Science Fiction, Short Stories

Remember when I had that reading slump in February? Well, I’m having the opposite of that now. Nothing motivates me to stay indoors and read like the sticky heat of the South. In the month of May, I read 7 books, 4 of which I read while I was at the beach for a week. This is my roundabout way of telling you what to read this summer!

I’m not a huge fan of short stories but when I heard that Lauren Groff was coming out with a new book of them, I knew I had to read it. I finished Florida in one sitting; it was that good. Groff does a fantastic job of evoking the feeling of Florida; you know, the feeling when you’ve been standing out in 100% humidity for several hours and your clothes are clinging to you because they’re soaked through with sweat. “Dogs Go Wolf” tells the story of two young sisters who are abandoned on an island and go a bit feral in their fight for survival. A boy from the swamps of Florida is surrounded by snakes and loneliness in “At the Round Earth’s Imagined Corners”. A woman brings her two boys to the hometown of her favorite French author only to find that France isn’t as romantic as she remembers from her youth in “Yport”.

While digging my toes in the sand, I read two page turning mysteries. A tarot reader in dire need of money is told that she has inherited a small fortune in Ruth Ware’s latest thriller, The Death of Mrs. Westaway. Harriet “Hal” Westaway is a struggling fortune teller who has some dangerous money lenders on her back. When she is trying to figure out what to do, she gets a letter saying that her grandmother, also named Westaway, has died and left her an inheritance. Hal, who is desperate for relief, decides that there is no harm in assuming the role of long lost granddaughter and heads to the Westaway estate to claim what is wrongfully hers. This was my first Ruth Ware book and now I’m kicking myself for not reading her other books already. I love a good English mystery, so this book was right up my alley. There is a twist at the end that I truly did not see coming; as I was reading, I felt very smug about thinking I had figured it out, only to be taken by surprise.

The Word is Murder features the author, Anthony Horowitz, as a character in his own book. Horowitz is the Watson to a grumpy, almost unlikable detective named Hawthorne. Hawthorne approaches Horowitz to write a book about his detective work. In order to do this, Horowitz follows Hawthorne around on a case involving a woman who plans her funeral on the same day she is murdered. The conflict arises when Horowitz’s dislike for Hawthorne bubbles up now and then; the detective tends to have a one track mind when it comes to cases, forcing the author to put his life on hold. I had fun reading this one. Horowitz is great at planting clues and dropping hints so that the reader can try to figure out whodunit before the end of the book. I’m a dunce, so I didn’t figure it out until it was written down on the page in front of me. If you were a fan of Magpie Murders, Horowitz’s previous book, then you will enjoy this one, too.

The only book I read in May that isn’t new, was The Martian by Andy Weir. I do not claim to be smart when it comes to science; in fact, the only test I’ve ever failed was in my high school chemistry class. There is a lot of science talk in The Martian, and I do mean a lot. But! It was all explained in a way that made me want to get a degree in rocket science. Mark Watney is an astronaut that was sent with a small team to live on Mars for about six weeks. The mission is quickly aborted only a few days in, though, when a storm blows in. Watney is injured and presumed dead, and is therefore left behind when the team leaves. He was the team botanist/engineer, so he has to use every bit of his knowledge in order to survive. I loved this book, and it took me by surprise just how much I loved it. Watney is hilarious, and stays positive throughout his entire fight for survival. I found myself laughing out loud, dismayed when something went wrong, and cheering when something went right.

I will lastly mention David Sedaris’ new book Calypso. Sedaris is in fine form with this one, and it reminded me a lot of my favorite of his books, Me Talk Pretty One Day. The overall theme I gathered from this book of essays is Sedaris’ own mortality. In “Stepping Out,” Sedaris is obsessed with his Fitbit and is continuously trying to outdo his last record of steps. He becomes a fixture around his neighborhood, taking long walks and picking up trash as he ambles. He and his partner buy a vacation beach house in North Carolina that they name the Sea Section. Several of the stories are based out of this beach house where he vacations with his siblings and their families. Sedaris has a tumor that he gets removed in a back alley operation, that he wants to feed to a snapping turtle that also has a tumor in the titular essay “Calypso”. (It’s a lot funnier than it sounds, trust me.) Calypso reminded me that David Sedaris is one of my favorite authors with a particular brand of humor that few people can get away with.

Summer reading is fun again, now that I can actually pick the books I want to read. Stop by Lemuria on your way to your vacation to pick up your summer books!

John Hodgman’s ‘Vacationland’ will make your Thanksgiving grand

By Aimee

On November 20, 2017

In Celebrity, Essays, Humor

If you’re a fan of dry wit and humorous situations, then guess what! I’ve got the perfect book for you. Vacationland by John Hodgman is the book you need to take with you when you go home for the holidays. You may not have heard of John Hodgman’s name, but you’re probably already familiar with him. Hodgman is an author, comedian, and actor who is arguably most famous for his Apple commercials where he portrayed the PC. Hodgman also has a big presence on Twitter, which I would recommend taking a gander at because he’s hilarious while also being socially conscious.

Vacationland is a collection of nonfiction essays and reflections about things that happened to Hodgman. I was hooked from the first paragraph when he says “Many people have asked me why I grew [my beard], and most of those people are my wife, and to them and to her I say: I don’t know. I’m sorry.” This almost self deprecating humor is a theme throughout his stories. In his first story, “Dump Jail,” he describes the anxiety his father put upon him when he was told to lie to the men that work at the city dump about where he lived. He wonders what would happen if he was caught in the lie; is there a dump jail that he would have to go to? In “Mongering,” he tells about the “loathsome affectations” he cultivated as a teenager such as playing the viola because it was less popular than the violin.

John Hodgman will have you ready for Thanksgiving

Some of the stories, while still funny, are more poignant than others. In “Daddy Pitchfork,” Hodgman gets a little introspective towards the end of the story. He has just woken up after a night of drinking too much bourbon at a party thrown haphazardly in his honor and feels like he could find a new life waiting outside the door for him. The titular essay “Vacationland” made me tear up, but the story immediately following had me laughing deep belly laughs on the first page.

Here’s where I tell you that I’m a bad bookseller because I don’t really read short pieces. However! I couldn’t resist picking up Vacationland, and I’m so glad I did! I love books that make me laugh out loud, then look up in embarrassment to see if anybody heard. That’s exactly what John Hodgman made me do. Christmas is coming up and if you’re like me, you’ll want a distraction from the all of the family togetherness. This is the distraction you need! I’m terrible at ending blogs so if you still need convincing, come visit me at Lemuria, and I’ll extol the virtues of Vacationland in person.

hodgman toast