I’ve read three books by Jungian James Hollis. All three have been helpful to me, and Hollis has expanded my understanding of mindful exploration of my past. He has helped me to grasp the effects of some of my decisions, made consciously or unconsciously.

What Matters Most asks each of us to consider more thoughtfully the relationship we have with ourselves. Also, it is important that we bring no harm or less harm to others. This noble desire asks that we become progressively aware of, explore, and take responsibility for our personal shadow.  This shadow includes parts of ourselves that makes us uncomfortable. Shadow work increases the authenticity we feel about ourselves and creates more genuineness as we relate to others.

Each chapter in What Matters Most is a progression tool designed to help us get into our inner selves. Often Hollis’ uses characters from literary masterpieces to help illustrate his ideas. His blending of fiction types with real life examples adds depth to the reader’s understanding. No other mind doctor I’ve read blends such literary depth with mindwork .

Beautifully written this broad self-help book is easy to understand and relate to. It is a reading pleasure to explore.

Read Pat’s blog on the same book. I have has also written about another one of Hollis’ books, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life.

Well, everyone I am about to write about does indeed have a brain but that is not the problem. The problems stem from the chaos that erupts when a brain goes haywire.  It’s not just the medical problems but the emotional, spiritual and relational effects that also prove to be devastating. Each of the following books describe in vivid details the extent of a person’s life that brain trauma effects and the toll taken on those in care-taking roles.

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In 1996, Dr. Jill Taylor, a 37 year old neuroanatomist, experienced a massive stroke that erased her abilities to walk, talk, do mathematics, read, or remember details. What follows is a gripping first hand account of her recovery and unique understanding of what exactly happened inside her head as the stroke was in progress. She uses her knowledge to formulate a plan for her complete recovery. I’m a sucker for books like this and was fascinated from start to finish. I was amazed at her level of awareness and cognizance to what was occurring medically and emotionally inside her body. I’ve always wondered how much people realize in the moment when something catastrophic is occurring. Taylor calmly watched as her speech, mobility, ability to process and think faded away. Since the stroke damaged the left side of her brain, her right side took over rapidly and she felt an immediate sense of well being, completely absent of fear. Though not the same person now that she was before her stroke, she claims to like herself better! This book would be a god send for anyone with a friend or family member who has experienced traumatic brain injury due to illness or accident. Taylor outlines very clearly what a patient needs and doesn’t need in order to regain as much brain function as possible. She went on to be named one of Time magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the World for 2008. Somewhat surprisingly, this book has flown off the shelves everywhere and is well worth your time.

To Love What Is is Alix Kates Shulman personal account of living with a brain injured spouse. A fall from a loft in their Maine vacation home changes both of their lives forever.  Her 75 year old husband, Scott experienced a devastating long term brain injury as a result of his fall from their bed loft. The medical result is a litany of problems ranging from broken bones to internal bleeding to long term memory and personality changes. How all of this affects them as individuals and as a couple is widespread and heart wrenching. As Shulman says on the book flap: “one day it happens: the dreaded event that will change your life forever, the more dreadful because, though you’ve half expected it, you don’t know what form it will take or when it will come, or whether or not you will rise to the challenge.” Shulman is a gifted and beautiful writer, whose previous twelve books include novels, memoirs and children’s books. Her prose and descriptions bring you into the very heart of their marriage and their world. She takes the reader back to what their lives and marriage was before the accident which was poignant and moving. Frankly, I found the book impossible to put down. The subject matter is somewhat depressing but this is real life….real love…real commitment….in a time when commitment seems an antiquated ideal. She lives out her love every second of every day. Shulman is brutally honest and uses raw, throbbing words to envelope you in what seems at times to be a living hell. I ached as she talked about her loneliness and her isolation from the vibrant life she lived before. I felt her sense of responsibility as well as her desperation to create some new life for herself so she can continue to do, in part, some of the things she used to do while living up to a responsibility to be with her husband in sickness and in health. A reviewer had this to say:

“…A haunting meditation on a love more enduring than the body or mind…a potent reminder that even an irreparably altered life is still a life to be cherished. Shulman describes life on the other side: the ongoing anxieties, risks, and surprising rewards she experiences as she reorganizes her world and her priorities to care for her husband and discovers that what may have seemed a grim life-sentence to some has evolved into something unexpectedly rich.”

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The last (brain) book on my radar, this week, is Still Alice by Lisa Genova. There really is something captivating about this story. Even though it’s fiction, the story and the characters are very much alive and kicking. It’s the story of Alice Howland, who at 50 is a cognitive psychology professor at Harvard and world renowned linguistics expert. She has a husband and three grown children. The horrifying punch line is that she develops early onset Alzheimer’s. This is Genova’s first novel but she shows a wonderful sense of maturity and is a beautiful and rich writer. There are times I wished I could close my eyes and not have to watch scenes from her rapidly advancing forgetfulness, confusion, and denial of what is happening to her. Of course the reaction of her husband and children will tear your heart out for all of them. I couldn’t look away though. This book was so good in fact, that I am convinced I have this disease and everyday, I seem to amass more evidence as to its validity! A haunting but powerfully important book to read.

-Norma

As I was busily alphabetizing in the psychology section the other day, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud in sheer amazement at various book titles. Whoever said you can’t judge a book by its cover was wrong. The adage should be: Never underestimate the power of a good title.

Here are just a few examples:

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. I thought this was a great reframe . . . very clever to grab the reader’s attention by saying that something painful and often times debilitating can be a gift! DeBecker studies violent behavior and helps people identify potential danger early by relying on our gut feelings.

How to Change Anybody by David Lieberman. Talk about the power of positive thinking. Nothing like hope to send us straight to the cash register. The book flap says, “Don’t let crazy people drive you crazy. Don’t let annoying, obnoxious, petty people get under your skin whether it’s your kids, spouse, friend, client, patient, or co-worker, you have the power to make it better.” (What was that part about co-workers?)

Building a  Home with My Husband by Rachel Simon. Need she say more? (Why? jumps into my mind but I continued reading further.) Simon lives in an imperfect house . . . it has charm but it’s small, dark and has a huge hole in the dining room ceiling. It won’t sell so she and her husband decide to renovate. This experience forces her to confront memories and inspires her to repair fractured bonds with those closest to her. I imagine that would be her husband. (You know those home repair shows on TV that have a husband and wife working together and they are unfailingly nice and patient with each other? They are actors . . . )

The Trouble with Thinking by Lauren Powers. Aren’t these titles great? Powers explains “the dangerous trip thoughts take from inside our heads to out of our mouths!” This book takes an important look at the way our minds work and could work better. It is a fantastic journey through our thought processes and reactions, drawing a map for us to find a better route.

The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford. There are so many Mark Sanford jokes running through my brain but I really like Jenny Sanford so I will leave them there . . . but the gall of that man. Anyhow, Ford shows how to take control of your romantic destiny by using the Law of Attraction. She says finding your soul-mate is possible if you are willing to prepare yourself on all levels to become a magnet for love. (Ummm, a magnet for love? Wow, at least Sanford didn’t use that line. Not to say that he won’t, however.)

The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout. Talk about a great title. There is no way you are going to see that title and walk away without reading just a little! The book is actually about what makes good people good and bad people bad and also how good people can protect themselves from these bad people. The author asks: “Who is the devil you know? Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband? Your sadistic high school gym teacher? Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings? Furthermore, Ford states that four percent of ordinary people have an undetected mental disorder. She encourages us to learn to identify a sociopath and protect ourselves. (I had a man come in a few months ago and buy two copies of this book at once. I was dying to follow him home and see who lives on the other side.)

And lastly, a real husband favorite . . .

How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It by Patricia Love. The author states that talking makes women closer but makes men move away. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship does not bring you together and will eventually drive you apart. Love is not about communication; it is about connection. You’ll never get a closer relationship with your man by talking to him like you talk to your girlfriends. Patricia Love asserts that there are four ways to connect with a man: touch, activity, sex, routine. When men feel connected, they talk more. Male emotions are like women’s sexuality: You can’t be too direct too quickly.

Not a whole lot to say after that . . .

How to and why live an authentic life are the basic tenets of this new book by Dr. James Hollis, practicing Jungian analyst in Houston, Texas. This book with its emphasis on the unfulfilled self brings to mind other writers like Alice Miller, Robert Johnson, Scott Peck and Frederick Buechner as well as writings in the  Zen, Islamic, Jewish and Christian traditions.  To be a bit more mundane, this book is most like learning to dance to the beat of a different drummer or taking that road less traveled.  It’s about listening to that drum whose beat may have been drowned out by the demands of ego building that served us well the years in creating families, careers, community esteem and respect from others.  After that is all done, the drummer keeps beating, especially if we have put him on mute.

Hollis refers to these soul stirrings as the gods within.  Note, gods spelled with a little “g” not to be confused with the grand Creator who made us all, he says. Eros is the life force, the great connector.  And demanding equal attention, is the god Logos, the divider, the individuator.  Seemingly opposites that must be harmonized to have an integrated personality.  Hollis tells how it is done and why it is imperative.  He uses his vast knowledge from years of Jungian psychiatry and countless patients as well as literary references to many of our beloved authors and poets to point us toward that goal where we reconnect with what is vital and central to the authentic self mentioned above.  He explains how that self is lost and hammered down into near oblivion by the shoulds and oughts of family and community to get us ready to make our way and name in the world.  We might have gotten the message from loving but clueless parents that if we don’t do these things, we’ll be drifters in a competitive world, or worse.

The allusions to the poets, heavy thinkers, dry wits, word craftsmen and myth makers over the centuries make this book highly readable.   There are quotes from Rilke, Dylan Thomas, Samuel Beckett, Goethe, Pascal, Jesus, Mohammed.  This is a fine book for 12 steppers, too, who already know the power of surrender to something greater than oneself, to that call that comes from deep within planted at the beginning of life if not before.  That surrender means the dropping of ego defenses held tightly by the stout ego.  The book is for all ages and particularly speaks to us that have slipped over or down the hill in the “second” part of life.  He even tells us that those who have paid heed to that inner call are at greater peace at the end of our lives with fewer or no regrets because we have integrated all aspects of our being into a truly wondrous whole.

Read John’s blog on the same book. Also see his blog on Hollis other book: Finding Meaning in the Second Part of Life: How to Really Grow Up.

-Pat