I am finally writing my blog on Slaughterhouse-Five, my favorite of Mr. Vonnegut’s books. I want to explain why old books are worth looking at again; but maybe not for the reason you expect. The blog will begin with Slaughterhouse-Five getting unstuck in my reading list and it will end how all blogs about Vonnegut must end: so it goes.
Slaughterhouse-Five got unstuck in its place in my reading list last month and I read it for the fourth time. It feels good for this little book to still have a few secrets I haven’t picked up on before. The jokes still made me chuckle and I got a few strange looks while reading at Whole Foods. I’m no longer laughing at poor Billy Pilgrim’s ridiculous appearance while he’s “fighting” during the war- now I’m laughing at the black, comedic quips about our morality. Obviously, what has changed in the 12 years since I first read this book is me.
In Slaughterhouse-Five it could be argued that Billy Pilgrim never makes a single decision for himself. He comes unstuck in his own life; jumping from one day to the next without any warning- always being forced to play along with whatever scene he finds himself in. He never stops to think what he wants to do, only what he should do for the scene to end the way it always has. This mirrors my feelings very clearly to what I felt in high school. Now I relate more to the questions of morality and responsibility. Each “scene” of my life now has many more threads of consequences tied to my actions: how it will affect me, my girlfriend, my job, my finances, my health, and so on. It’s a maddeningly dense web of responsibilities. But, after this book I realized something very important- what I should do and what I want to do are very similar now. I take this as an important sign I am headed in a good direction in my life.
Opening Slaughterhouse-Five I was looking for a familiar story and a book that made me laugh out loud every time I read it. What actually happened was that I had an entirely unexpected reaction to a story I know very well, and that is exactly what I needed.
Looking at old book can be a great benchmark to measure our own change over the years. Seeing the exact same situation years apart and having a different reaction to it; I can think of no better way to measure my development as a person. Skip the visiting old friends and crying at old betrayals- why don’t you try reading an old favorite to see how much everything outside of the book has changed since then. Come in a grab and a favorite and you might end up surprised at what you find. Time changes everything- us most of all. So it goes.
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