When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds That Sabotage Our Relationships
by David Richo
Shambhala (2008)
Earlier this year, I read an illuminating study on our responsibilities for our interactions with others, especially those we care the most about. While slowly reading this emotionally challenging book, I was thinking I would restart immediately when I finished. I couldn’t, I felt like my psyche had been put through a washing machine and needed hanging on the clothes line to dry. The present seemed my time to share this blog.
Transference is when we tend to go through life simply casting new people in roles of key people. This defense is joined by projection (mistaking internal experience for an external one) and displacement (mistaking one person for another). Richo’s book is about noticing mindfully, staying away from attachment, trying not to carry the past into the present (perpetuating our old scenarios and trying to recreate them).
Integrating our experiences means reshaping our lives in accord with what we’ve gained from addressing, processing and resolving. Digging deep, getting into and trying to understand the guts of our past (shadow work).
In writing about this book, I could easily be excessive. In my review copy, it’s seriously underlined, many pages with corners turned down and my code of importance (5 stars=max) are bountiful. This book is wise and helpful.
I feel learning from my past relationships (childhood, teen, parent, work, etc.) is critical for fulfillment in my older years. The processes Richo clearly states here are immeasurably beneficial to current relationship interaction. This is an important book.
David Richo has a new book coming out soon. I eagerly await its release. I’ve made a request to Shambhala to send David to Jackson on a book tour. If you consider this meaningful, please share your feelings with David Richo here and Shambhala here.
Last year about this time, I made a pilgrimage to West Point paying respects to an all-time hero, Howlin’ Wolf. I started listening to his music over 40 years ago, and to say his musical influence on me is huge is an understatement.
In the early 50s Wolf hit Chicago, recording for Chess, and the world opened up. Working with Willie Dixon, and backed by Hubert Sumlin, Wolf developed a style of overwhelming intensity. His presence was created with a feral state of antics, crawling around on all fours, howling out masculinity. Women found him irresistible. It was music that would pitch a wang dang doodle and tear the house down.
I love to look at cool photograph books about music I care about. It’s fun and brings back many memories, sights and sounds of good times shared with friends and family. Our music gives Mississippians so much to be proud of as it enhances the quality of our lives.
A favorite photo of Pat Thomas close up captures the air of the artist/musician legacy wearing his ever slanted headgear.
T-Model with his Jack says what it’s all about.
