When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds That Sabotage Our Relationships
by David Richo
Shambhala (2008)
Earlier this year, I read an illuminating study on our responsibilities for our interactions with others, especially those we care the most about. While slowly reading this emotionally challenging book, I was thinking I would restart immediately when I finished. I couldn’t, I felt like my psyche had been put through a washing machine and needed hanging on the clothes line to dry. The present seemed my time to share this blog.
Transference is when we tend to go through life simply casting new people in roles of key people. This defense is joined by projection (mistaking internal experience for an external one) and displacement (mistaking one person for another). Richo’s book is about noticing mindfully, staying away from attachment, trying not to carry the past into the present (perpetuating our old scenarios and trying to recreate them).
Integrating our experiences means reshaping our lives in accord with what we’ve gained from addressing, processing and resolving. Digging deep, getting into and trying to understand the guts of our past (shadow work).
In writing about this book, I could easily be excessive. In my review copy, it’s seriously underlined, many pages with corners turned down and my code of importance (5 stars=max) are bountiful. This book is wise and helpful.
I feel learning from my past relationships (childhood, teen, parent, work, etc.) is critical for fulfillment in my older years. The processes Richo clearly states here are immeasurably beneficial to current relationship interaction. This is an important book.
David Richo has a new book coming out soon. I eagerly await its release. I’ve made a request to Shambhala to send David to Jackson on a book tour. If you consider this meaningful, please share your feelings with David Richo here and Shambhala here.
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