Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Really Grow Up

James Hollis Ph.D

New York: Gotham Books

Recently I’ve been reading Hollis’ new not yet released book. During this troubling economic time around the world, I’m reflecting on the earlier Hollis, I read a couple of years ago.

As we face our instabilities and turbulent life shifts, it is up to us individually to challenge our pasts and choices to allow growth (spiritually and psychologically) into our later years. For some, instabilities caused by external sources is a time for self-reflection which can be important and helpful for the long run of life.

Middle age people (est 35-70) begin to question choices, realize personal limitations and feel stuck. For some, these challenges lead to a commonly known, “mid-life crisis”. Hollis offers this helpful book about self-growth, becoming ourselves, exploring non-traditional roles of adulthood and embracing more authenticity. He offers keys to enhancing our psychological depth and understanding in all relationships.

Finding meaning is right on and helpful. For me to sparcely write about what Hollis achieves in this fine book is an injustice. Finding Meaning is an important, outstandingly helpful, deeply insightful self work on book. As helpful as any I’ve ever read.

Hollis uses literary examples to express Jungian analysis suggesting important questions and proposing challenges to help us be more clear about our meaning in the world.

In these unstable times I recommend this book. Also, I recommend it to anyone looking for a helpful read for deeper understanding into your situation. This book does not do the work for you or make it easy and entertaining.

Finding Meaning is a river of words for those who want to flow with more understanding into self maturity.

John and Pat have also written about another one of Hollis’ books, What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life.

Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Phd
Narcissism, an excessive desire for controlling ones self interest, is very interesting and I enjoy thinking about this concept.

Everyday interaction with people, especially for me, working in a retail bookstore for 34 years: where any conversation can happen (on the spur of any moment, about any topic or opinion) has opened my eyes with this continuous observation. I love watching how people think and talk, especially about what they are reading and why they are moved by books. I was excited to read this book.

Freeing yourself, kinda sneaks up on the reader, luring you into the lifestyles of some great successful (in some ways) narcissists: Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright, Ayn Rand etc. All these fascinating grand achieving personalities are so interesting yet they each seem to have flawed a valuable part of their life by an excessive ego-control and a super-abundant self love.

I appreciated the way our author used these fishhook personalites to catch this readers interest and make me address my own issues. Addressing individually the handling of life’s enjoyment, creativity and the sharing of genuine compassion within the authentic representation of self.

This is not a heavy book, but an entertaining look using superstars. Yet always coming back to the readers own mirror of self. Freeing gives helpful hints of how to look at our own self and create an understanding of blocks handicapping us from more fulfilled lives.

Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, Bantam (2006)

In the recent past, I read an essay, probably from a Best Zen Writing book, which included an excerpt from Social Intelligence. I was so impressed that I put this book on my to-be-read list. So in May of 2008, I got around to getting a copy. Wow, I was knocked out.

Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Studying our reactions to others and theirs to us, reveals a far-reaching biological impact:

Good Relationships=Positive impact on physical health

Bad Relationships=Poison to our bodies

Daniel Goleman has made me think about my relationships which exist solely through computer/Internet interaction and how this type of bonding can change how we feel and interact. Also, his sections on raising healthy-minded children and preserving healthy family relationships seem right on target to me. I wish I had this book 30 years ago when my first child was born.

Even more so, I enjoyed the sections on the dark side of narcissism and the inspiring techniques Goleman suggests for cultivating rewarding work relations. I also enjoyed reflecting on his presentation of sexual attraction and how we detect and feel honesty in our human interaction physically and virtually.

It’s hard to think anyone could not benefit greatly from reading this book. In fact, I recommend this book to anyone; it would be a positive use of your time.

Reading Louann Brizendine’s The Female Brain opened my eyes in a many ways. A pioneer in female Neuropsychiatry, Louann traces the organic changes of the female brain before birth toold age with insightful explanations of psychological changes.

Arranged in the sequence of the aging process, this study flows from stage to stage presenting a fluid study for the reader to grasp and understand with insight into the way females are and how they develop. If I had read this book ten years ago my relationships–with my then teenage daughter, my now ex-wife, and my aging mother who has since passed – could have been more insightful and more rewarding.
I hope, one day, to welcome Dr. Brizendine to Lemuria and have her personally share her knowledge.