Post-read, the title now seems so profound, that it could stand alone without the need of a blog post written by myself. My perception of Moria McStay’s debut young adult novel has been greatly transformed since Clara (think the lovely girl who works in Oz) recommended it to me shortly after I started working at Lemuria. I am a relatively new Lemurian, as I started working here a month+ ago. The world of Lemuria has been a wondrous place, where my narrow mindedness has already been exponentially expanded in a relatively short period of time. I have a reputation for being rather persnickety in regards to which books, movies, and music I listen to. Part of my desire in working for the store is to pull my head out of the sand where it’s been buried for so long (as a friend lovingly informed me not too long ago). All that being said, I was prepared to enjoy McStay’s novel, but not to for it to be a tool in a season of self-analysis. It was not the first time I have assumed incorrectly.
 Jacket
McStay engagingly weaves back and forth between two characters, who happen to be the same person. Fiona Doyle suffered a childhood accident that left half of her face horribly scarred, and has greatly impacted who she is. Fi Doyle appears to be everything that Fiona is not, she is a popular high school athlete who seems to have no visible limitations. McStay, with quite simple prose delves into topics that hit on nerves I was unprepared to visit. Both girls struggle with fear to pursue what they love; to be vulnerable enough to pursue their dreams. They share the same dynamics with their mother, neither ever feels like they are enough for her (none of us can relate to that, I’m sure).  And of course, there is a little drama to be found in their relationships and interactions with their crushes and boyfriends. They share many commonalities, but they are different people as a result of their different stories. My curiosity was insatiable to the end to see which life decisions they would make, and how similar or dissimilar they would be. You will have to read the book to find out the answer for yourself!
It is only recently that I have had time to self-analyze, and liberally bemoan prior mistakes. There is much that I wish I could go back and change, or dynamics in my past that I wish were, well, different. But do I really want to the past to be different? McStay sums it up aptly, “There’s no way to know what I’m missing, or who I’d be otherwise. Stuff happens every day that sets us in on direction or another.” Do I really want to be different than who I am? I think for the most part we all answer, “No”. Everything that we have gone through has made us into who we are; the more scars we bear, the more diverse and hopefully empathetic we are to the foibles of others.
All in all, whether you are young, or a bit older like myself, you will enjoy this book; maybe a little or a lot more than you expect.
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